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October 28, 2004

Douches and Turds Aren't The Issue

Why South Park Missed The Point with their "Don't Vote"
gambit

In case you missed it a few weeks back, Sean Penn very publicly
took exception to the message of the most recent film from South
Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Penn was not amused
by the South Park guys' suggestion that it was okay to skip voting
in the upcoming election. Specifically, Penn politely argued,

It's all well to joke about me or whomever you choose. Not
so well, to encourage irresponsibility that will ultimately
lead to the disembowelment, mutilation, exploitation, and
death of innocent people throughout the world. The vote
matters to them. No one's ignorance, including a couple of
hip cross-dressers, is an excuse.

Sean Penn

Of course, one might imagine that this is exactly the sort of thing
that leads the South Park guys to feel extremely pleased with
themselves. They're some of the best provocateurs we've got --
funnier than Michael Moore, and more principled than the Daily
Show crew -- and riling folks up is what they do best. They
echoed their "Don't Vote" message on Wednesday night's South
Park season premiere. Their message, ever-so-subtly delivered,
was that if the two people running for office are a giant douche
and a turd sandwich, respectively, then maybe it's okay to abstain.

As a joke, suggesting that people shouldn't vote is pretty good.
The best jokes are the ones that tickle the most sensitive -- and
otherwise unassailable -- parts of our culture and beliefs. Thus, in
the midst of "the most important election of our lifetime" and an
unprecedented nationwide voter registration drive (complete with
sincere-looking celebrities urging us to the polls), to argue against
voting is pretty counterintuitive. It's like arguing for extra-cruel
animal testing.

But was it the right joke? Was it the best joke? Instead of
complaining about the candidates, the South Park guys should
have spent their time lampooning the inevitable swirl of lawsuits
that will surely commence late Tuesday night, when both parties'
armies of litigators begin squabbling and jostling for recounts, vote
disqualifications, etc, et al, and generally doing a fantastic job of
embarrassing the democratic process.

So instead of having Stan banished to live with PETA in the
hinterlands, only to return when he realized that "the candidates
are a giant douche and a turd sandwich every time" they should
have had Stan take a different sort of stand. Something like this:

I promise to vote if you, Mr. Giant Douche and Mr. Turd
Sandwich, promise to count the votes in a fair and practical
way. I promise to vote if you promise not to sue if it looks
like you might lose -- even if it's close. I promise to vote if
you promise not to carry on like cheating crybabies. And I
promise to vote if you promise to honor the title of Leader
of the Free World by convincing the rest of that world that
we actually conduct fair elections.

Stan likes giving speeches; that's one I'd like to hear.

Posted by thatkid at October 28, 2004 7:28 PM under The Papers

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