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December 29, 2004

The Quantum Properties Of Fantasy Sports

Quantum Entanglement, Lineup Decisions, and the Superposition of Eigenstates at the QB Position*

"I think I can safely say that nobody understands quantum mechanics."
-- Richard P. Feynman

Quantum physics -- the properties and behaviors of the tiny particles that are the miniature building blocks of the universe -- is one of those areas of science where the powers that be "don't exactly know all the answers as of yet." Unlike large objects like planets and boulders and coffee mugs, subatomic particles (the ones with nifty names like "quarks" and "positrons") don't seem overly concerned with obeying the the equations that govern how things are supposed to fall and move and smash into each other. Rather, quantum particles follow a different set of rules, rules that in many ways contradict the observable physical laws with which we're all so comfortable, and even go so far as to challenge some of the fundamental philosophical tenets of how we describe reality. It's heady stuff.

Without presupposing to actually explain very much about quantum physics (a task at which I would likely not do a very impressive job), it's worth noting some of the more counterintuitive properties of quantum particles. Beyond the wave-particle duality of light (this is a biggie -- definitely worth reading and contemplating if you ever have the smug sort of afternoon where you're slightly bored at work and thinking that you've got it all figured out), the really creepy one is something called quantum entanglement. Without getting too much into the details, quantum entanglement involves the two or more objects whose quantum states can only be described in reference to each, such that the observation of one of these objects will also instantaneously impact the properties of the other objects in the system -- even if the objects are separated in space. That is, some sort of connection exists between the two objects, and allows for interactions that are faster than the speed of light. If you touch one of the particles (metaphorically), the other particles are immediately impacted even though no observable information is being transferred between them.

Heavy fantasy sports users and gamblers will, of course, be quite familiar with this effect. As these professionals are doubtless aware, decisions regarding fantasy lineups demonstrate a similar set of properties, such that one's choice of starting quarterback in a crucial playoff matchup will not only impact the performance of that player, but will also instantaneously cause the superposition of the eigenstates of the other players on the team's bench to collapse into a place. That is, your choice as an owner actually will impact not only performance of the starting player, but all other players on your bench.

What renders this effect so intriguing in the realm of fantasy sports is the complementary nature of the particles and decisions involved. Thus the selection of QB #1 will, in a certain percentage of cases (a percentage determined by the unique properties of the fantasy sports system in use and the relative values of all players involved), lead QB #1 to have either a good or bad day (again, to be determined by the relative properties of all QBs in the system), while collapsing the complementary superposition of QB #2's (this being the QB you have chosen to bench) eigenvalues into a functional inverse of QB #1. It is worth noting that the eigenvalues of both QB #1 and QB #2 exist in a superposition of states (that is, they encompass all possible performance values for each of the players involved, though of course those values are determined by the probabilistic constraints and properties of each of the players) until the system is "observed" by the decision to insert one of the two players as a starter. At this point, the system comes into focus, and the determination of performance values is crystallized, even if it takes three-to-four hours of physical time for the complete results to have stabilized enough to become measureable.

Thus, fantasy owners can take some solace in the fact that although their lineup decisions do in fact impact both the performance of the starting player and the player on the bench (QB #1 and QB #2, respectively), the quantum interactions describing that impact are in fact defined by the underlying parameters of the system prior to the interactions. Though of course there always exists the probabilty for a ten-sigma event in the probability states of the system (where QB #1, despite all indications that support a strong performance, such as a recent streak of success, a poor opposition defense, and a stellar group of receivers, still delivers an abysmal performance, while QB #2, entangled in the eigenvalues of QB #1, inversely has a killer day and shreds the opposition for like 350 yards and 4 TDs), for the most part one can expect players to perform according to the pre-existing system fundamentals. That is, good players can be expected to perform well, while poor players can be expected to perform poorly, except when the good player has a terrible week, which will undoubtedly be the same week (by the laws of quantum entanglement) that the poor player will have a career day.

*More commonly known as "Murphy's Law" or "Sh*t Happens."

Posted by thatkid at December 29, 2004 1:25 AM under Sports

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