« Why C-Webb Will Love AI | Main | That Last Paper of Record Stole My Thunder »

February 25, 2005

Paris Hilton = Best Internet Marketer Ever?

strong>The SSW as an unappreciated online promotional genius?

My my, that Paris Hilton sure is an exciting celebrity! Just weeks after her decidedly underwhelming turn as the host of SNL (one which might have actually been career-limiting for other celebrities), Paris forced her way back to the top of the celeb-tabloid media metaverse (and even into the "real" media as well!) when one of her personal communication devices was hacked and her celebrity-filled address book was posted all over The Electric Internet.

"I don't know why this stuff always happens to me," Paris shrugged to the AP.

Let's assume for a minute that Paris doesn't have anything to do with this. In which case, she's just the sort of irresponsible airhead who routinely loses wallets, keys, cell phones, etc etc. We all know the type, and given the outputs of her recorded conversations with people holding microphones near her pie-hole, it seems an apt description. Paris doesn't seem very clever, or, at the very least, doesn't seem very gifted at the arts/ acts of "speaking" and "communicating." As deftly noted by the South Park guys in one of their best episodes in years, there's also a possibility that she's mostly famous for taking her clothes off; or, as South Park put it, for being a "Stupid Spoiled Whore."

But let's suspend disbelief and ignore all evidence for a moment, and consider another scenario -- the one in which Paris Hilton has reached some sort of supernatural communion with the zeitgeist and is, in fact, the most brilliant self-promoter since the heyday of Madonna. Let's imagine that Paris is unconsciously aware of the broader trends in youth-oriented media and fashion and can innately process unseen cultural undercurrents such that she is instinctively and effortlessly able to build the Paris Hilton brand into a consumer marketing powerhouse.

What then? Certainly, Paris has shown herself to be significantly more clever than I at making money. (Sure, she had some built-in advantages, but still, I went to well-branded universities and whatnot -- it's not like I didn't have any advantages.) She has all sorts of endorsement and licensing deals for her name and likeness, and also makes cash from her TV show, model deals, and other acting appearances. For this, she should be lauded (it is America, after all; money tends to be the agreed-upon methodology for "keeping score"). Given the demonstrable results of her success (all that money), I'd like to offer a theory in re: the secret of her success: Paris Hilton is the best Internet marketer ever.

It is fair to say that everyone engaged in commerce in the entire wired world -- from the Fortune 100 to the pizza shop on your corner -- is working RIGHT NOW to figure out how best to activate the Internet as a marketing tool. That is, how do you use the Internet to reach potential customers, promote your business/ brand, and drive sales and profits? Whether it's superclever underground buzz campaigns, splashy display advertising, or bidding on search terms, there is no shortage of theories on how best to use the Internet to generate dollars. If we assume 1990 as a starting point for the current incarnation of the Internet, it's tough to come up with anyone (any company, brand, or individual) who has wrung more marketing value out of the Internet than Paris Hilton.

Consider, for a moment, the following question: what are the top five biggest Internet Buzz Generators of all time (where "all time" = "the past 15 years")? Let's define "Internet Buzz Generators" as "(a) content or information found and spread primarily over the Internet and which (b) qualified as "must-see" for a large percentage of Internet users and (c) is instantly and easily recollected, such that you can remember the time when you first saw it." As I have it, Paris has two of the Top Five (though I'm sure I'm missing some good ones; feel free to point out omissions in the comments section):

(1) The Paris Sex Tape: nightvision never looked so sleazy! And, go figure, it hit the Internet the week before her TV show aired!
(2) Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee Sex Tape: the granddaddy of them all -- these two were pioneers for a sadly voyeuristic world.
(3) The Starr Report: if you remember correctly, the afternoon this hit the web, work absolutely ground to a halt so we could all read the words "oral sex" in a government document.
(4) Janet Jackson's Breast: though it happened on TV, the proof was on the Internet, especially in the weeks of sanctimonious hand-wringing that followed.
(5) Paris Hilton's Address Book: this one makes the cut just because we're at a point where all the traditional media channels are actually reporting on the information that was only available on the Internet. Don't let proximity fool you -- this is pretty big.

I've got her with two out of the top five, including the number-one spot. Granted, there is a, ahem, theme to the entries above. (THEY'RE ALL ABOUT SEX.) Sex on the Internet? No. No. It couldn't be. Is there sex on the Internet? I thought it was for enabling B2B transactions in industrial manufacturing and printing out boarding passes! Does it cheapen the above list that the biggest Internet stories ever mostly involve mating and nekkid people? Perhaps. On the flip side, you can begrudgingly admit that the folks who've taken most advantage of the Internet as a marketing tool understand that standards are in flux -- people aren't ashamed to admit they've seen the Paris sex tape. It doesn't make Paris any less of a sex star (where "sex star" is the most apt description of her celebrity) to observe that she has a better sense of what qualifies as R-rated (versus NC-17) than most. But it also doesn't diminish her talent for self-promotion over the Internet to say she primarily takes her clothes off for money.

Inasmuch as Paris has a rival, in terms of young female celebrity, it's probably Britney Spears. The past few years haven't been so kind to Britney; though the Us Weekly's of the world are still interested, she's fallen off the radar screen somewhat. You wonder what a sex tape would do for Britney? Or a look inside her address book? Sure, a sex tape cashes in your chips a bit early in a long-term brand management sense, but hey, isn't Britney inevitably headed there anyway? Like Britney won't appear completely nude for money at some point? Maybe she should hire Paris to manage her online marketing; of all the costumes in which we've seen Britney, "blurry night vision shadow" isn't yet on the list.

Paris might "just" be a sex star, but no sex star -- or anyone else for that matter -- has extracted more marketing value from the Internet. Sure, Paris would have been a Page Six darling regardless, but the Internet has made her an international mega-brand. It isn't her fault that our prudishness and passion for prurience have offered her the opportunity to launch herself into the celebrity stratosphere. You could also argue that her online campaign has been extremely expensive, not in terms of dollars, but it terms of surrendering her, ahem, innocence and long-term growth potential (I mean, really, what else is left for her?). Fair enough. But Paris seems to be a carpe diem sort of girl -- I'm sure she doesn't lose sleep over what her celebrity has cost her. Whether deliberate or not, it's tough to deny just how effective an Internet marketer she's been; the challenge for the rest of us is figuring out how to make it work without having sex on camera.

Posted by thatkid at February 25, 2005 3:40 PM under Biznass

Comments

Post a comment

About ThatKid

Copyright (c) 2004-2007 thatkidinthecorner