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June 4, 2005
ThatKid Too Hot For Red China!
Even the commies can't stop ThatKid on the road; they can only contain me....
An apology to begin. I really did mean to post something sooner. I'm travelling in Asia for a couple weeks, and wanted to whip up some content from the road with details of exciting adventures in faraway lands. Right. What I didn't realize was that the Chinese Government "wasn't so down with that." That is, www.thatkidinthecorner.com is not on the list of approved sites. (This probably explains why I have 1.3 billion fewer hits per day than I had projected.) So. The degree of difficulty has been elevated.
Luckily, we have some clever ways around that. (But I can't divulge my Big Secrets.) I was planning to write something a big longer, but I'm in a dark, stale room on the second floor of a building (no sign in English) that is the Shanghai version of an Internet cafe and my space bar doesn't really work. But we soldier on!
Some quick hits from the other side of the world:
On The Wall To Victory?: so we're walking along the Great Wall (and when I say walk I mean climb; definitely was a workout) and I spot a guy with an Eagles hat. Perhaps! I say "Go Birds," we chat for a moment (he was born in Philly, moved a while back, but still roots for the team) and move on. About 30 seconds later we hear some American kid shouting, "TO just needs to shut up and get into camp." What? Is 610 broadcasting live from the Slacks Hoagie Shack at the Great Wall of China? Turns out there was another Eagles fan right behind us and he just couldn't help himself. He saw the guy's hat, started yapping, and a minute later a bunch of us are discussing TO's contract situation. Ridiculous. And hilarious.
Lost In Translations: you tend to run into some funny mistranslations and whatnot whenever you travel, but we have a couple early favorites in the clubhouse right now: (1) "Interdict de faire caca", posted above a toilet in a bar in Ho Hai, and (2) "Strong Violent Alcohol" as the heading for a list of otherwise peaceful vodka drinks on a menu.
Famous Chinese Medical Research Facility: as part of our mission to the Great Wall, our tour guide/ Chief Scamming Agent took us to the Chinese Medical Research Facility, where, following a brief introduction to Chinese medicine (delivered in a small room by an unsmiling nurse straight out of Central Communist Casting) three doctors entered (we were supposed to clap -- no kidding) and offered "free examinations." This meant that they took your pulse and then told you that you needed to buy special Chinese medicines (available at the store downstairs; they take all credit cards). Uh-huh. Now who said they were Communists?
The Forbidden Starbucks: we saw actor Paul Sorvino at the Starbucks in the Forbidden City. Feel free to read that sentence again.
Learn Chinese in Your Car: so we don't know much Chinese, and we struggle to even recognize the words we do know, but we have nailed a couple down: Bu Yao ("Don't Want"-- good for shooing away erstwhile Commies with trinkets), Shieh-Shieh ("Thank You"), Bing Shway ("Ice Water"-- don't drink the water in Shanghai), Gombey ("Chug!"), and Sha Beeeeeeeeeeeeee! (I can't translate that last one, but it sums up my feelings in re: this nonsense with the Internet).
Would love to hear from y'all; feel free to add comments below or shoot me an e-mail. Access has been sparse, but I think I'll be on every couple days or so.
Until then, Kao!
Posted by thatkid at June 4, 2005 7:13 AM under
ThatKid
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