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August 16, 2005

New York City: Northern Bucks County

In which I defend the city where I grew up from the city I just left, or at least from its paper of record's Sunday Styles section

As per my previous posting, I now live a solid 3,000 miles from the East Coast. One might imagine that said distance would lead me to forfeit my right to comment on Northeast Corridor rivalries, perhaps in favor of a more general East-Coast-versus-West-Coast conversation (of which many of my West Coast friends, specifically the transplants from the Deep South living in, COUGH, AHEM, COUGH, L.A., are so fond).

And then I read the piece in the Sunday Styles section of the Times describing Philadelphia as "The Next Borough."

Ummm, yo?

I mean, I understand the Sunday Style section has a certain audience, with a certain set of expectations (by this I mean the sort of status-and-money-obsessed folks who enjoy waiting on long brunch lines and spending more on shoes than most Americans spend on rent), but this story was an abomination. There were certainly a number of worthy ideas in the piece, but they were completely torpedoed by the haughty, condescending, almost anthropological tone of the authors. A story about the relative real estate valuations in New York versus Philly, and how Philly seems comparatively undervalued in the context of the Northeast corridor, that sounds good. If you want to talk about the music scene, I'm there. If you even wanted to do a little piece about more general regional migration pattern, I'm feeling it.

But this was not any of those stories. It contained those words, sure, but the tone was all wide-eyed wonder at the pioneering spirit of those who dared to leave New York to -- DEEP BREATH -- live in the fifth-largest city in the United States! You know, the one 80 miles down the road? It made Philly sound like it was a hot new spot in the Hamptons. I know it sounds crazy, but people actually live in Philadelphia! They go to restaurants, check out art galleries, enjoy music, and even own real estate! Imagine! A million and a half people, and they manage to have something approximating culture! Who would have guessed?

Still, I can't say I didn't learn anything from the story. Apparently, "Philadelphians occasionally refer to their city - somewhat deprecatingly - as the "sixth borough" of New York." Errr, really? I have NEVER heard that. EVER. ONCE. But hey, if they're going to write the article, maybe they know something I don't; after all, I haven't lived in Philly since I was 19:

"Hard numbers assessing exactly how many new residents are from New York are not available, but real estate brokers are noting an influx of prospective buyers and renters from the city; club owners and restaurant employees have spotted newcomers, on both sides of the bar; and "everyone knows someone who's moved here from New York," said Paul Levy, the executive director of the Center City District, a business improvement group, and himself a former Brooklyn resident."

I mean, everyone knows someone -- that's good enough for me! And with all this raw, uncolonized country down there in them parts, there are bound to be some delicious little finds! Like Fishtown (!):

Ms. Neighbor and Mr. Matz discovered Fishtown, a gentrifying blue-collar neighborhood adjacent to Northern Liberties, where, in the last five years, youthful faces with bed head have made their way among the traditionally Irish Catholic residents. They found a three-bedroom row house for $170,000.

Gentrifying, huh? They got Starbucks there or something?

Ugh -- and the naive little touches in the story as the authors described their interview settings (describing someone sipping a "Yuengling beer" in a bar -- this is me having a seizure) were just shameful. Also, the line about Philly being a "trainover" city? Right. So Philly is bigger than both DC and Boston. Just because the cognoscenti dorks apparently referenced by this piece from "fifteen or 20 years ago" didn't know anyone there doesn't mean the place didn't exist.

They actually printed this quote: "'Philadelphia reminds me a lot of what Brooklyn used to be like,' said Ms. Watt, who had lived in Brooklyn and Westchester County for 15 years." Oh, well then, of course -- she'd lived near New York, let's allow her to generalize about an entire metro area based on her 12 months of residence! Sure, sounds good!

Who edited this thing? Who made the decision to run the story? Someone had to be responsible, right? Do they have different standards in the Sunday Styles section or is it just supposed to be obnoxious and naive?

If nothing else, this piece convinced me I should invest in Philly real estate RIGHT NOW and make a killing selling it to washed-out-over-the-hill-wannabe-hipster idiots like the ones in the photo. Then we can all have a good laugh about our little settlement down on the banks of the Delaware over some Tastykakes and hoagies.

I mean, jeez, it's not like Philly is Atlanta or something.

Author's Note: yeah, yeah, I know I lived in New York for six years and not Philly, by my own choice, but honor is honor. There was always respect. Gotta repruhzent the Illadelph.

Posted by thatkid at August 16, 2005 1:23 AM under Philly , The Papers

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Posted by: peter at January 19, 2006 5:01 PM

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