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August 5, 2005

Screamin' A. Needs-And-Feelings?

In which we express shock and bewilderment regarding the overwhelming Dr. Phil-ness of the "Quite Frankly" debut

It isn't an accident that his nickname is "Screamin' A" Smith. Erstwhile Philly print columnist and ESPN blathermonkey du jour (and subject of lengthy recent profiles in SI and the Times) Stephen A. Smith has earned his recent success (the ESPN appearances, the radio show, his new TV show) with his big mouth. Sure, it hasn't hurt that he's buddied up to some of the biggest names in Philly (specifically T.O. and Allen Iverson), but mostly it's been his bluster that's earned him his brand. (And to think he's accomplished all this without 610 -- now available streaming online!)

So you can imagine my shock when I tuned into the premiere of Stephen A.'s new ESPN show "Quite Frankly" and found precious little screaming at all. In fact, it was a lot more Dr. Phil than Angelo Cataldi. After what was essentially a discount "Tonight Show" opening monologue, we got 50 minutes of one-on-one softball chat session with Allen Iverson, in which Mr. Screamin' A. was mostly silent. AI was given license to explain himself and "be real" on a wide range of topics, interrupted at commercial breaks by a brief intro from the host and some highlights.

Huh?

I thought we were going to get the TV version of Screamin' A.'s radio show, with lots of blowharding, half-baked opinions, baseless claims, and insider knowledge of how T.O. really feels about Donovan McNabb, as interpreted without any actual quotes by Screamin' A. But no! We got extended needs-and-feelings with AI: AI talks about how much he loves his wife, AI talks about how much he loves Larry Brown, AI talks about how much he loves his mom, AI talks about how -- despite the presence of some mean-spirited people in Philly -- he lives to represent Philadelphia. And then he cried! And Mr. Screamin' A. wanted to dry his tears!

Who replaced Screamin' A. with Roy Firestone? ("You're not going to make me cry, Roy!")

Admittedly, I ate up every last bit of the AI needs-and-feelings session. But hey, as a Sixers fan and Philly dude, I'm an easy mark. If the AI interview had been a two-part special, I would have tuned in. And the alleged roster for the rest of this week (TO, Larry Brown) is Philly-centric enough to keep me interested for at least a few more days. But this is not what I thought I was getting from Screamin' A. The title of the show, "Quite Frankly," suggested to me that this whole thing was going to be about Screamin' A. "telling it like it is" and "being real" with his characteristic cadence and gusto. I suppose not; turns out that the "Quite Frankly" might just mean that Stephen A. is such good pals with enough pro athletes that he can put together an entire series where the jocks show up and get to sound off as frankly as they like while Screamin' A. nods approvingly and does Arsenio Hall things with his hands. If things so swimmingly for Screamin' A., expect Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes to be on the show answering softball questions about how in love they are within the month.

All that said, I really enjoyed the premiere, solely because of AI. I know there's plenty of Big Stories from Eagles Camp (Brian Westbrook, don't think they're not dying to give your job to this Ryan Moats kid -- if they screwed over Duce, they'll screw over you), but there wasn't a word written in the Philly papers about this? AI actually did say some interesting things (about the city, the team, his family, Philly in general) and had me smiling for his 50 minutes of screen time. With the "I'm not gay" moment, his explanation that he didn't need a gun to take care of his cousin and his male lover (dude, easy there AI), the tears about Larry Brown, the comments (which we've heard before) about how "football is his game" and this basketball thing is just an accident, and his admission that he doesn't talk aboue racial issues on camera, there was more than enough fodder for a column or two in the local press. But no. Nothing. Instead we got stories about what T.O. was wearing when he walked into training camp. Permit me to speculate, but might there be a wee bit of jealousy from his colleagues in Philly (despite the fact that Screamin' A. allowed Inquirer columnist Bob Brookover to bumble his way through a report from Lehigh)?

If nothing else, my big takeaway from the AI session was that I really-really enjoy rooting for Allen Iverson. I don't know that the Sixers have NBA title in their near future (and neither, it seems, does AI), but that doesn't mean I don't enjoy having AI on the team I support. If the Sixers trade him, I reserve the right to stop caring about the team for three (3) years. This guy is just too good a character -- maybe actually too sincere for his own good. As for Stephen A., ThatKidInTheCorner wishes him the best of luck, and hopes that his show remains solidly rooted in the various Philly sports soap operas. That, plus the decision to stream WIP, should make my upcoming move that much less unsettling (where "less unsettling" roughly equals "I'll be able to keep on top of the Birds' news").

Posted by thatkid at August 5, 2005 11:13 AM under Sports

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Posted by: Tom at March 7, 2006 8:04 AM

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