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January 25, 2006

Two Weeks of Jealousy, Envy and Contempt (Sort Of)

I suppose I should say something about the NFL Team here in C@L

Given the amount of brainpower, attention, and ThatKid column inches that are devoted to the NFL, it would be irresponsible, nay, negligent, of me not to offer some comment on C@L earning a place in Super Bowl Excel.

Generally speaking, good on ya, C@L. Your team played a great game, kept their cool, did their thing, and very much earned a trip to the Super Bowl. Never mind the implied insult of it all (that is, it didn't take C@L four tries in the NFC Championship Game to get to the Super Bowl) or that the Panthers looked wounded and uninspired out there. The Seahawks won the NFC regular season title, and now have won the conference championship. There should be no doubts in re: who the best team in the NFC is. It's the Seahawks.

Aight. Those were my happy/ gracious thoughts. These are my mean-spirited, snarky and/ or envious thoughts in re: the Seahawks, the season finale of the NFL, and C@L:

Why I Don't Root For the Seahawks, Even A Little Bit: as a resident, I've decided to adopt a couple of the local sports teams. That is, I can get behind both the Sonics and the Mariners. (I've even bought their respective products.) The Sonics and the Mariners are safe because (1) I am slightly more relaxed about the Sixers and the Phillies than I am about the Birds and (2) both the Sonics and the Mariners are in the other half of the draw in the NBA and MLB. The Seahawks are in the NFC. They're a rival for things like "home-field advantage" and "Super Bowl berths." Thus, they are the enemy and cannot be trusted. I'll note that I always had a soft spot for the Seahawks as a kid; I thought their colors (toyal blue, silver and kelly green) were really cool. Also, they were in the AFC then, which made them safer (they were definitely my favorite AFC West team as a kid).

That Bra Bomb Had Better Work, Nerdlinger: appropriately enough, the Seahawks, here in the nerd capital of the universe, are the nerdiest team in the league (expect a lot of this storyline over the next week). They're owned by NerdKing Paul Allen, and have an NFL legacy case who obviously reads the sportspage as a quarterback. Their offices and training facilities are even on the nerdy Eastside in Kirkland! That's like the next town over from Redmond! Nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrds!

We Gonna Win Championships: I'll admit that there's a little part of me that actually is pulling for C@L Defensive Coordinator Ray Rhodes here. Especially in the aftermath of his stroke earlier in the season. Maybe Ray Rhodes' schtick only works for a season and a half, but he did win some games for the Birds (and then lost a bunch as well). Of course, he also said some, errr, crazy things. But whatever. I've got a soft spot for Ray Rhodes (and not just because of the Ray Rhodes voice).

A Disrespectfully Disrespectful Amount of Disrespect: as a native Philadelphian, I can really appreciate the chip on C@L's shoulder. Folks up here think that the rest of the country, and certainly the coastal media elites, are barely aware of the entire Pacific Northwest's existence. Past the familiar stereotypes (lattes, Nirvana, the Space Needle), most folks don't know much about C@L. And do people up here notice! Nobody loves us! Nobody respects us! People don't even pay attention to our medium-sized city (bigger than Minneapolis-St. Paul-Bloomington MN-WI but smaller than Phoenix-Mesa-Scottsdale AZ)! It's like we don't even matter! As a result, there's a fair amount of excitement in town just because C@L's in the national news. And that's fair -- no reason not to get excited about the place where you live. But it's definitely different than the Philly vibe (which is more about the team than the city, which makes it even weirder -- the people don't even know that it is about the city in Philly, just indirectly).

ThatKid Relaunches the C@L Football Franchise: aight, it's time for a nickanme. If I can do the city, I can certainly do the football team. There were some very positive rumblings in re: The C@L Wrong Birds. I liked that, a lot. But I feel like that's a little too me-specific, and really wouldn't resonate. Then I thought about the Nerdhawks, but that didn't sound good. The Geekhawks was a little better, and the Dweebhawks was better still. But I think I'm going to have to go with something classical, something that captures the spirit of the region at the same time that it imports a little taste of Philly. I give you: the NFC Champion C@L Nerdbirds.

And guess what? Super Bowl Sunday, I'm pulling for the Nerdbirds.

(Potentially poisonous prediction yet to come.)

Posted by thatkid at January 25, 2006 11:52 PM under C@L , Sports

January 25, 2006

Two Weeks of Jealousy, Envy and Contempt (Sort Of)

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