(ThatKidInTheCorner :: Let Me Guess, You're An Art Student)

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February 22, 2006

Let Me Guess, You're An Art Student

When scammed in the Middle Kingdom, the best defense is a good offense

When we were in Beijing last summer, we had the extreme luxury of being led around town by a college buddy who had lived here for a couple years (and who spoke fluent Mandarin). It's the sort of thing that really makes a difference. He was able to help us negotiate situations large and small (talking to cabbies, making sure we ordered the right things at dinner, talking our way into these little alleyways that we probably shouldn't have been strolling through) and generally was a big determinant of our (very high) customer satisfaction during our stay in the capital of the Middle Kingdom.

One of the important bits of wisdom that our buddy imparted during our visit was that we needed to be on alert for a scam involving young "art students" who will try to convince tourists to come see their "art exhibition" and then won't let you leave without buying something. Oddly, of all the scams we encountered last summer, this wasn't one of them.

In fact, I had completely forgotten about the art student scam until yesterday afternoon, when I was approached by three young art students approximately 60 yards from the front of my hotel. They led off with the standard "Where are you from?" (I swear that "Where are you from" must be the first lesson in the scam-the-American-tourists field guide) and asked if they could practice English on me. Okay, I thought. I'll play along. They're just kids, and I don't want to be unfriendly. It's an important part of global diplomacy that I not be a jerk when I meet friendly locals. Just trying to do my part.

So we chitted and chatted for a couple minutes. I'll be here for the week. Yes, I've been here before. Yes, it is very cold out. Yes, I am somewhat tall. All very polite, but I was eager to be on my way. Which is when they dropped their kicker: "We are art students and we would like you to come see our exhibition."

I actually listened to their pitch for about a minute before the tumblers clicked into place and I remembered the warnings from last summer: look out for kids who want you to come see their art exhibition. And here were three kids who wanted exactly that! Just like I'd been told!

Once you know the scam is on, you're allowed to stop being polite. Still, the kids seemed nice enough, so I made the effort to be graceful about my exit. I wanted to check out the Forbidden City, I told them, and I really needed to be going.

As soon as I crossed the street, I was accosted by another young kid speaking English. "Where are you from?" Oh no, not again! Not so soon! "C@L. Do you know where that is?" He didn't. But he did know about a great art exhibition nearby. I laughed in response and upped my walking pace (let's see if the little guy could keep up). I wasn't rude to him, but I told him there was no way I was looking at his paintings, and that I was in a hurry. This one wasn't so good at English, so he ran out of material pretty quickly (though he kept walking beside me). After a few hundred yards of me laughing at his requests to come visit his art show, he finally peeled off.

Ten minutes later, as I'm strolling through a famous square whose name I dare not type for fear of having my local access to thatkidinthecorner.com revoked, I was approached by two young girls. Guess what? They were art students too! Who would have guessed? This time I had a new strategy -- I would go on the offensive. After absorbing their repeated requests to check out their art exhibit ("Will only take two minutes"), I asked them what sites they liked to use on the Internet (I'm over here doing some research for my employer). And they were more than willing to chat!

Within minutes, I had my own little impromptu sidewalk focus group going. I actually talked to them for a solid ten minutes before they remembered that they were the ones who were supposed to be scamming me. Still, I got some good data out of them, and was feeling pretty proud of my improvisational skills. I was making lemonade.

Before heading back to the hotel, I figured I would snap some pictures in front of the Forbidden City (no time for a coffee, unfortunately). As I approached the front gate, I saw a man (a little older than the others) coming my way who had plotted a clear intercept course. Uh oh. Not another one.

"Hello. Where are you from?"

"I'm from C@L, in the United States."

"Is this your first time Beijing?"

"Nope. Let me guess...you're an art student."

"No. Not a student. I am art professor."

[!!!!! The professor! This was like discovering the source of the Nile!]

"Really! Well, I have to tell you, I've met six of your students this morning!"

[Confused look.]

"Look, I'm really in hurry, so I'm not going to be checking out your art, not even for two minutes. You should go talk to someone else."

In retrospect, maybe I should have just dropped one of my four Chinese phrases on these folks (the charmingly versatile "Bu Yao!"). At the very least, I was pretty proud of myself for chatting the two girls up about which IM clients and search engines they liked. And I'm still a little bummed I didn't make it to the Forbidden Starbucks.

With any luck, there'll still be time for some jade.

Posted by thatkid at February 22, 2006 11:02 PM under ThatKid

February 22, 2006

Let Me Guess, You're An Art Student

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