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April 5, 2006
Amateur Food Porn
Someone In C@L Decided To Take Photos Of Sandwiches And Didn't Call Me?
The text message came in around noon on Sunday:
Theres [sic] a story in the about taking pictures of a ham sandwich in the [C@L] times arts section today..you could totally beat this woman in this film short contest
Ahem.
A story about taking pictures of ham sandwiches in one of the C@L papers? Should I be worried that the entire world is revolving around me again? I immediately fired up the C@L Times web site and searched for "ham sandwich." The search worked; I found the article -- it even highlighted the word "ham" in the page.
Additional research revealed that the C@L Times is apparently running a contest called Three-Minute Masterpiece, in which amateur filmmakers are invited to submit (very) short films (180 seconds max) shot with digital equipment. Reps from the paper will select winners and post the winning entries on the paper's web site (and show the films in local film festivals, etc.). It all looks quite lovely, and quite C@L, in a techie-home-grown-art-project sort of way. If you're a resident of Washington state and not related to someone on the staff of the C@L Times, you have until April 28th to submit your entry -- so get crackin!
In order to promote the contest, the paper has commissioned a local journalist and filmmaking newbie, Brangien Davis, to put together an entry and document the process. Check. Makes sense. It's a high-end house ad. They're even stretching the promo out over three weeks, serializing her efforts to put together a passable entry for the contest. And the premise of her film? Her decision as a longtime vegetarian to eat meat. Ham specifically. A ham sandwich precisely. Though we have yet to see any of her completed material, she's already promised that the climax of her entry will feature footage of an oversized ham sandwich.
Errr, excuse me, but that last caller stole my nerdy web-dork thunder. This journalist is off shooting a ham sandwich and she didn't for a moment think to consult me? I'm right here in town! Is she unfamiliar with my sandwich oeuvre, featured both within my flickr photostream and in the flickr Food Porn group? Oh, I can feel your snickers from here, but I'm not alone in my passion for lovingly photographing delicious foodstuffs! Food Porn on flickr boasts over 2,200 members and 28,000 photos.
I used to think that 2,199 of those folks were basement-dwelling trolls (and not, ahem, well-adjusted citizens like me). But I've now met three different people at work who also confessed to being serial food photographers (oh wait, that doesn't actually change anything...). Now is not the time to probe the reasons behind this dweebish passion for food photography; it all gets uncomfortably reduced to sex far too quickly. But now is definitely the time to publicly throw my digital-bacon gauntlet at the feet of this Brangien Davis. You say you're making a film about a ham sandwich? Well, I think I speak for the rest of the Food Porn community when I say that we shall await your efforts with great anticipation. For the avoidance of doubt, we take our sandwich photography pretty seriously; half-assedness is not going to get the job done.
In the meantime, I have but one question for this Brangien Davis: if you're going to do ham, why not bacon? It looks much better. Tastes much better. Comes from the same delicious animal. Why not just indulge yourself with the premium flavor and subject?
Amateur.
Posted by thatkid at April 5, 2006 11:58 PM under
C@L
, ThatKid
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