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October 22, 2006

Ronde Barber And A Mouthful Of Puke

After another horrifying loss by the Birds, the only question is whether it's my puke or 5's; also, class angst in the high school sports section?

So that makes three (3) times this season that the Eagles have managed to lose on the final play of the game. I've really been struggling to decide how to take it; that is, I'm puzzled by the fact that this team is actually playing a ton better than their record indicates. Of course, I have to balance the "playing well" part with the fact that "playing well" is only a leading indicator of playoff participation, and that actual wins (rather than games that you mostly won but screwed up at the end) are what define entry to the postseason. Sure, the Eagles might be sitting pretty in the Football Outsiders rankings (#3 overall, #1 in offense, #9 in defense), but they're 4-3, and the games all get tougher from here. If not but for a couple bad bounces and penalties, the Eagles are 7-0 right now. But they're not. Not even close.

This latest one, in all fairness, wasn't nearly as bad as the Giants game, if only because the Eagles played poorly enough in the first half to convince me that they didn't deserve to win the game this week. The Giants game? Much worse. The Birds outclassed them all day and then handed the game over in the fourth quarter. But today the team was clumsy and wasteful for an entire half, and generally looked like a team that had no interest in actually winning the game. Never mind that they outgained the Bucs 506 yards to 196 yards. Never mind that the Bucs crossed the Eagles 25-yard line only once. Never mind that Brian Westbrook saved the rest of the offense's hide by scoring an insane touchdown with 33 seconds to play. The Birds just didn't look like a team that was serious about winning.

Yuck. I'm sick of typing nonsense like that. (It must be awful to be a sportswriter for a living -- seriuosly, how can you trot out the same cliches every single day? You must need an extremely well developed sense of irony.) Now I just want to complain about what made the game so painful to watch:

Ronde Barber Is Hiding WMD And Sympathizes With Enemies Of Freedom: are you freakin kidding me with the Ronde Barber thing? It isn't bad enough that this guy ruins the last game ever played at the Vet (a game which remains my personal standard for macro-level misery and heartbreak -- I have never seen as many pitiful/ dejected human beings as I saw filing out of that bitterly cold palace of disappointment that day)? Now he has to score twice (TWICE! Like the Birds are the Cardinals or something!) and crush us again in a game his team had NO business winning? Does 5 owe him money? Did 5 accidentally sleep with Barber's wife and give her VD and so now he has to throw balls into Ronde's chest every time they play? What sort of Faustian arrangement is in play here? Ugh. Ronde freakin Barber. I got nothin' for ya. I'm alone in my apartment saying his name aloud in frustration. This is ridiculous.

The McNabb Boot-n-Rally: I haven't even heard a word about the McNabb puking thing and I'm already sick of it. Done. I don't even want to hear it. He puked. Fine. It's worth noting that he played a helluva lot better in the half that he puked than in the half when he didn't puke. And, as every good Roboslam player knows, sometimes you need to clear the holds before you can set sail in earnest for Blackout Island. I'm willing to give him a pass on the puking (especially in the context of a great second half throwing the ball and running a lot more than he's comfortable with), but not on the play at the end of the first half. That was completely unforgiveable. (The picks happen. They sucked, but the law of averages is a cruel mistress.) Unfortunately, the blathermonkeys are going to spend the whole week going on and on and on about the puking. Yawn. Actually, let me amend that. The national blathermonkeys will talk about the puking; the local guys will kill Reid and McNabb for the clock management. They're good like that.

The Passion Of Michael Lewis: speaking of the local blathermonkeys, the story in Philly this past week was that strong safety Michael Lewis (whose jersey I own but have not yet worn this season -- that's a whole separate posting) might lose his starting job to Sean Considine. The story this morning on the Eagles web site was that Considine would start (seems an odd thing to post on the site, but hey, I wouldn't be surprised if it was part of an elaborate contract gambit by the Joe Banner). Since the Bucs didn't actually do anything on offense, we can't say if the change made a difference. But I will say that I noticed that Considine didn't do as good a job as Lewis at getting to the QB on the blitz. Past that, these guys need to platoon for the forseeable future. Michael Lewis, you are losing money by the day. Kind of sucks for you.

Misplaced Class Angst Bonus Coverage: if case you didn't catch it in the Philly papers, there was a borderline hilarious/ irresponsible piece on how the two private Catholic schools are better than the Archdiocesan Catholic schools in Philly sports. Said piece contains all sorts of ridiculous insinuations about how the privileged classes at St. Joe's Prep and La Salle are beating up on the other teams in the Catholic. It included charmers like:

"And while it has been almost accepted that La Salle and the Prep would dominate the country club/individual sports (tennis, golf and swimming), their mounting success in the conventional team sports (football, baseball and basketball) has been deflating to some."

And:

"Still, with the shirt collars as crisp as the air and each fan base as identical as the cumulus clouds, you had to be content if your decision was to send your son to two of the finest Catholic all-boys' high schools in the area."

And:

"If you were an outsider who happened upon yesterday's La Salle-St. Joseph's Prep football game - and also happened to be a writer - you might have scribbled down something like this: The sky was as blue as the blood coursing through their veins."

Never mind that the article contains no actual evidence or quotes from the "other schools" who have allegedly been doing the grumbling -- only responses from the Prep football coach to said allegations. The killer is the writer actually thinks that the Catholic schools are blue-blooded! Come on! You can't get that wrong! Not in Philly! Philly has the freakin Main Line! These people invented class in America! There dozens of WASP-y schools! Entire WASP-y leagues! They all cost a ton more than La Salle and The Prep and are going to be a lot more serious about their high-end credentials. And you're calling out the poor Catholic bastards who made it out to the burbs? Come on! You're not even close here! I know it's the sports page, but they have editors, right? Who authorizes this nonsense?

Posted by thatkid at October 22, 2006 11:35 PM under Philly , Sports , The Papers

Comments

Posted by: PublicSchoolgirl at October 23, 2006 7:29 AM

Posted by: oyun at February 28, 2009 8:29 AM

Posted by: oyun at February 28, 2009 8:33 AM

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